A recent study indicated, that Yarn and thread gives off certain
Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase
unreasonable amounts.
When stored in large quantities, in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones, (in
the yarn,) cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome, (similar to
the one squirrels have, before the onset of winter, i.e. the storing of
food,) therefore, perpetuating their species and not having a population
loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.
Sound tests have also revealed, that these yarns, emit a very high-
pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women known as
"loomers." When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as
chants, buy me, loom me, and wind me into a ball ".
In order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect," that these
yarns cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility
and use ear plugs, to avoid being pulled into their grip.
(One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a yarn store, with
WW2 army gas masks and headphones!). Studies have also indicated, that
aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects, that
these yarns have on the human population. They are called "YARN STORE
CLERKS".
It's also been experienced, that these same Pheromones, cause a
pathological need, to hide these yarn purchases, when taken home (or at
least blend them into the existing stash.) When asked by a significant
other if the yarn is new, the reply is, "I've had it for
awhile."
Author Unknown
Sunday, September 2, 2007
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